


Privileges

by baekkieony



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Porn, Drunk Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sad Ending, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M, get ready for some angsty smut, how did i manage to make it sad again omo, i disappointed you i know, i like to see my characters suffer im an evil person, im not actually sorry lol, this was a joke btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 09:09:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14931368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekkieony/pseuds/baekkieony
Summary: Many people have privileges, but someareprivileges.





	Privileges

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beigogi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beigogi/gifts).



> This shitty ao3 won't let me tag Zhou Yanchen/Cai Xukun bc I'm on mobile so I'm sorry.
> 
> Gifted to @beigogi bc he/she writes so good stuff omfg, check it out!

The apartment was dark when Yanchen came home, lights out and he could hardly see anything beside his own hand (it may was just the alcohol running through his veins, but he was too proud to admit that he was fucking wasted).

He giggled non-stop when he tried to fit his key into the lock, missing it for around the fifth time now, but there was just something so funny about the key that he couldn’t stop himself from laughing. Okay, he had to admit he was a bit drunk. But only a bit.

When someone behind him, Xukun to specify, sighed in annoyance and took the key out of his shaky hands, Yanchen almost pouted like a stubborn kid who’s toy was taken away and Xukun laughed at the sight, because Yanchen was just too adorable.

It made Yanchen smile a little, the laugh from Xukun, because when Xukun was laughing the whole world was laughing. Xukun just had that thing about him that didn’t allow other people to be sad in his presence, but Yanchen thought that he might had broken that presence when he saw Zhengting sitting in the middle of their apartment, drawings spread out in front of him.

Zhu Zhengting was always drawing.

Most of the times Xukun.

It made Yanchen wanting to vomit on them.

Xukun almost sprang forward into their apartment, sliding next to Zhengting on the floor and snuggling his face into his neck, practically beaming at him and Yanchen saw the way he looked at Zhengting like he was his world when Zhengting turned around to give him a small peck on the mouth, blushing slightly, before turning back to his drawings.

Yanchen practically swayed into their apartment, trying to find support on every wall he could find, because he felt his throat getting sore already and his stomach made clear signs of searching for the next toilet (but he had a feeling that it wasn’t the alcohol that made him feeling sick), but he ignored it to try and look sober for more than a second to say good night to Xukun (and Zhengting, maybe), because the sight in front of him had him sober enough.

Leaning awkwardly against the wall separating their kitchen from the living room, Yanchen tried to look confident and sober, but he had a feeling that he only looked like shit right now, with dishevelled clothes from the club and his hair sticking to his forehead form the sweat, but man it was _hot_ in here.

He fanned himself some air and then let a slight “hrm” roll out of the back of his throat, making Xukun and Zhengting on the floor look up from Zhengting’s last drawing and attentively turn their gazes towards him.

He really had to gather himself, before he was able to speak, because he could feel tears threatening to spring out from his eyes every moment when he could catch more than just a glimpse on Zhengting’s drawing and it made him want to break down crying.

It was beautiful, like it always was, because Zhengting was good at drawing and just Zhengting in general seemed to perfect in everything he did, but the thing was that it was displaying _them_.

Zhengting and Xukun, arm in arm, standing next to each other and holding onto the other like the world relied on them.

Yanchen ignored the painful pang in his stomach and forced a drunken smile on his face, before he told them that he would go “to bed”.

When Xukun offered to bring him to his room, he politely denied (or at least what he considered polite at that moment, but he was sure it was only slur of words) and stumbled through the hall and to the door of his room.

When Xukun saw him swaying away, he sighed and whispered something into Zhengting’s ear at which Zhengting nodded and stood up silently, following after Yanchen.

When Yanchen had managed to safely open the door of his room, he directly tripped over a sock lying in the middle of his bedroom, almost falling onto the ground, but suddenly, there was a strong hand on his back and an arm wrapping tightly around his waist, supporting him safely.

Yanchen, who had closed his eyes tight when he felt himself tripping, not wanting to look at the nearing ground, clutched onto the other’s arm smelling Xukun’s perfume up close.

Expecting a worried Xukun smiling down on him when he opened his eyes, the shock when it wasn’t Xukun but Zhengting smiling down on him with a worried look in his eyes was even bigger.

Even though he tried to hide it at his best, he could erase the last bit’s of disappointment in the way his eyes shone when he stared up into brown orbs piercing through him and seemingly, Zhengting also noticed, because the smile on his face turned a little bit pained, only slightly.

Before Zhengting couldn’t handle his weight anymore, Yanchen lifted himself up with Zhengting’s help, mind feeling like he had sobered up in seconds and before Zhengting could initiate an actual conversation or something, he looked onto the ground and murmured a quick “thank you” and turned around, attempting to go to his dresser, before a fast hand caught his shoulder. Zhengting spun Yanchen around kind of roughly and even though he managed to remain a neutral face the wild glaze in his eyes spelled danger and the red of his lips spit poison into Yanchen’s face.

"You’re bad at hiding that you hate me Yanchen”

The grip on his shoulder pushed a little harder, almost weighting him down, but Yanchen couldn’t give in; not yet.

"I don’t hate you Zhengting”

Zhengting’s face spelled disbelief and Yanchen felt sorry, because he knew _why_.

“But you don’t act like it”, Yanchen sighed, heavy.

“I know and I get where you’re coming from, but please, just accept it”.

The grip on his shoulder pushed harder and harder, and he felt himself sacking onto the ground a little bit, weak in his knees, weak in his mind, but numb to the world.

It didn’t took Zhengting much to push Yanchen to the ground, strength weak from the alcohol and the way he was kneeling onto the ground like this made him look perfect, Zhengting thought.

Yanchen was absorbed in those brown orbs staring down on him and when Zhengting bowed down slightly to gently caress his cheek, he felt a shudder running through his whole body.

Zhengting patted his cheek once, before he straightened up again, eyes soft and hard at the same time, because the way Yanchen looked at him made him feel guilty for something he couldn’t quite place.

"Show me and I might believe you”

And it was so tempting, the moment, the action, his words and if Yanchen would give himself an actual chance for once, he might have grabbed it; but for him there was no hope in anything that contained love and he might just interpret the whole situation wrong and it hurt so much that he couldn’t tell Zhengting why he couldn’t like him and be nice when he wanted to, and there were so many “mights” in his thoughts that he just wished for a “did”.

Zhengting said nothing more before he left the room, shutting the door silently, steps elegant and careful.

When Yanchen was sure, Zhengting couldn’t hear him anymore, before he broke down into tears he had to hold back for so long now and curled himself into a ball of safety his own world had always provided him; but this time it didn’t help.

And Yanchen was left alone in the darkness again; alone with his thoughts who pained him for loving his best friend’s boyfriend.

~*~

It was dark and quiet in Xukun’s and Yanchen’s shared apartment.  
Yanchen was sitting at the window of their living room, staring blankly into the deep night of the not so modern side of Beijing, people hushing around the streets secretly and he knew who was out there at 2 am wasn’t there for candies (they more likely told naive teens that they had some in their black suspicious vans that screamed “nonce”).

He leaned his head against the cold soothing glass of the window, letting it cool his heated skin from the shower he had taken a few minutes ago. He could almost feel the steam around him again, when he rubbed over his still red skin and he thought that if he rubbed a little more, he might find some truth underneath his cover of lies.

His stare was fixed on the stars above, but in reality, his thoughts were miles away already and he thought about the possibility of love between two best friends and how Xukun and Zhengting had managed to be two of the maybe nine percent of the population who actually were loved back by their best friend; they were privileged.

About the other ninety-one percent who felt unrequited love wasn’t talked, society had somehow decided.

Yanchen was too lost in thoughts to notice how a shadow was watching him from afar, leaning against the door frame and studying him silently. The shadow’s gaze was piercing through Yanchen’s skin and burning into his back when he saw Yanchen taking a swig from the Baijiu bottle next to him and the shadow sighed.

If Yanchen was following that path of alcohol consume any longer he’d become an alcoholic in no time.

The shadow stepped closer, taking a step into the moon light and when Yanchen noticed a presence slipping into the spot next to him, it was Zhengting and not Xukun, who he had secretly hoped for and again, he wasn’t able to fully hide his disappointment.

Zhengting took the bottle with Baijiu out of his hand and to a good swig himself, before settling it down and wiping his mouth with the back of the hand and a noticeable shudder ran through his body. “Nah mate, still not drinkable, that shit”, he crunched up his nose in visible disgust.

Even though the only thing Yanchen wanted to do was to disappear in thin air right now, he still snickered at the sight of Zhengting who clearly wasn’t used to drinking such stuff.

“Why are you even drinking it then?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I wanted to understand why you’re basically living off of it by now?”, Zhengting shrugged casually with his shoulders, but his undertone was aggressive and oh mate,  _this was dangerous territory._

While Yanchen knew that his drinking habits lately have been a bit...out of control, he wasn’t even close to becoming an alcoholic (or at least he told himself so). Zhengting was just overreacting.

"If you’re subtly trying to hint that I have a drinking problem, then you can just go back to Xukun and cuddle him and live in your own world of perfectness again”, even though Yanchen tried not to sound too bitter, he himself knew that he failed miserably and hew was sure that Zhengting noticed.

“Whoa, chill, no need to get so defensive, I get it, you hate me and no more talks about your drinking habits”, Zhengting threw his hands up in defence as if Yanchen would attack him any moment and Yanchen sighed, because he could never do that.

“I do not hate you, Zhengting”

"Show me and I might believe you”

And there was this gaze again, the pressuring stare that made Yanchen weak in his knees and he could understand why Xukun had fallen for that man in the first place. His brown orbs were absorbing in the moon light, stars making them sparkle with silver sprinkles from above and before they both knew, Yanchen was coming closer and closer, almost touching his lips, before he snapped out of it and retreated back quickly, only to flee directly to his room, Baijiu bottle in his hand and the promise of guilt in the other; because how could he even betray Xukun like this and Zhengting in the first place!

Yanchen sighed into the dark of his room.

Nobody from the other ninety-one percent told him that love was so sad.

~*~

Yanchen could see himself stumbling home in the reflection of a random window on the street, the moon above and the street-light lighting up the street dimly and giving the atmosphere a sultry yet mysterious feeling.

It was fascinating, Yanchen thought when he mustered himself in the reflection of the window, how familiar the whole situation felt; stumbling home drunk coming from a club, clothes dishevelled and looking like a hot mess, but normally, there was Xukun with him to support him and help him to the toilet when he had to throw up, but said man decided to stay home for Zhengting tonight and so Yanchen was alone; lonely.

When he tried to push the key for the wrong door into the lock (even though he wasn’t so drunk as the last times) and he already missed that three times, the door suddenly opened to reveal a shirtless Xukun, looking slightly out of breath. Yanchen was frozen in place and he had to gulp loudly to swallow down the sudden lump in his throat. Xukun was _breathtaking_. And also, Xukun was currently grinning at him.

“We thought you might need some help”, Xukun opened the door wider and while Yanchen knew what they had been doing seconds ago, the sentence sounded so suggestive in too many ways he actually didn’t want to experience.

Yanchen stepped in, gaze flying around, searching for something suspicious or fishy, but he was disappointed to find nothing, really nothing.

Zhengting was lying on the sofa, drawings spread out onto ground like him on the couch and it felt all too familiar for his own good; he knew it.

He greeted him politely and he could see something flashing through Zhengting’s eyes, something that called danger and his red lips spit poison.

He told Xukun and Zhengting “good night” as he always did, no matter how wasted and when they both watched Yanchen travelling down the hall and swaying against literally every wall he could find, they shook their heads, before one of them whispered the other something in their ear and the person stood up to follow Yanchen.

When the door behind Yanchen (which he had barely even managed to close in the first place, _why_ did this someone feel the need to ruin his masterpiece?) opened, it caught him off guard and he stumbled over some clothing lying on his floor (a sock, maybe?) and before he could feel his back hitting the ground hard, eyes closed, there was someone.

The someone was holding him in strong arms keeping him from falling further (even though he had fallen a long time ago) and then wrapped toned arms around his waist and Yanchen hoped so much for it to be Xukun, but when he opened his eyes, it was Zhengting and he felt a Deja-Vu.

He stared into sincere brown orbs absorbing him, but this time there was no disappointment in Zhengting’s eyes, just blankness and Yanchen himself couldn’t hide his disappointment; again. He saw Zhengting’s smile shrinking only a little when he saw the look in Yanchen’s eyes, but then the moment was gone and the weird, smug sparkle was back in his eyes.

Zhengting helped him up and when Yanchen stood on his feet safely, Zhengting let him loose so Yanchen could turn around and he tried to keep himself from screaming when he thought of the painful familiarity with this situation (and how he knew how it had turned out and how he hoped for it not to happen a second time).

Before he could make his way to the dresser and hide behind the doors of it, a fast hand had already caught his shoulder and grabbed it tightly.

Zhengting spun him around a little to rough and soft at the same time to be considered friendly and the pressuring weight on his shoulder didn’t leave him when he was facing Zhengting again, mustering with a critical gaze.

“You told me you don’t hate me, but every time we meet you have that disappointment in your eyes. Tell, what did I do wrong for you to despise me so much?”, it was almost scary, so well knew Yanchen that the question was coming. The question just had been how it would be voiced.

Yanchen sighed, slightly spitting because he was still pretty much not sober, before he answered for what felt like the three hundred time.

“I don’t hate you, Zhengting, I just can’t tell you why”, the grip on his shoulder got harder, pushing him down, almost crushing him.

“But I want to know!”, with every bit of pressure he put on the grip more, the more sweet his smile became and Yanchen was _seconds_ away from breaking, the atmosphere suddenly hot and sultry.

“I won’t tell you Zhengting, but I assure you that I don’t hate you”, Yanchen himself knew that his voice was weak, because he was focusing on the grip on his shoulder almost making him numb and before he knew, he was already on the ground, kneeling in front of Zhengting whose brown orbs stared down at him; absorbing and Zhengting _grinned_.

“Show me and I might believe you”

The sentence was to familiar, was already pierced into Yanchen’s mind and it was repeating over and over like a melody his heart didn’t want him to forget, like a chance always running away before he could grab it, but now, _right now_ , he was faster, staring up into brown orbs telling secrets and lips spilling lies.

Before he could think about it a second time, Yanchen was already fumbling with the fly of Zhengting’s jeans whose cock seemed to be half hard in his tight pants he always deemed to wear around to show off his ass.

He quickly opened it with skilled fingers, mind sober enough to make him know what he did, but drunk enough not to overthink things (like he always did).

Zhengting’s pants were discarded quickly somewhere in the room, Yanchen mouthing at his cock through his black boxer briefs. And he felt so good, so obediently on his knees, even though he was always pushing himself too hard.

Nuzzling his face into Zhengting’s crotch, he stared up into those blown pupils and the only move Zhengting made was to tangle his gentle fingers into Yanchen’s soft hair and god, this was so wrong, because Xukun was only a door and a hall away and could come in any second, looking why they were taking so long. But Yanchen shoved the thoughts aside and pulled down Zhengting’s briefs completely, before making him sit down on his bed and licking at the tip kittenish.

The only reaction Zhengting showed was pulling his hair tighter and making a move for Yanchen to go a bit faster. So Yanchen decided to leave out the teasing, even if it tempted him to make Zhengting suffer, to see him falling apart under just the skill of Yanchen’s mouth.

He didn’t bother with the tip anymore, but straight up slid Zhengting’s length into his mouth, inch fitting after inch until his nose touched pubic hair and Zhengting’s dick hit the back of his throat.

Zhengting hissed quietly, pulling the strands of Yanchen’s hair even harder and fuck, this was so wrong but he couldn’t stop himself from moaning around Zhengting’s dick. But suddenly his hand which had sneakily made it’s way down to his own hard cock was slapped away.

“We have something much better prepared than just sucking dick, babe”, a body was suddenly pressed against him, bare skin on shirt and the rough voice sent shudders down his body, hot air being puffed out against his ears and when he turned his head slightly, Xukun wasn’t mad but _hungry_ and Yanchen wanted to cry out loud, because it felt wrong.

The rest happened almost in a rush. Minutes later, Xukun was lying on the mattress, being prepped from Zhengting who already had four fingers up his ass after five minutes, and Yanchen, who was sitting on the pillow and slowly stroking himself to the rhythm of Xukun pushing his hips back against Zhengting’s fingers.

It was painful to watch when they fucked, the person he wanted to touch so desperately so close yet so far away at the same time and Yanchen felt like crying, almost numb when Xukun took it from behind and was sucking Zhengting’s dick at the same time (multitasking almost, because when you’re multitasking you’re not fulfilling every task at your best, because you’re focusing on too many things at the same time).

While pounding into Xukun, making him wriggle underneath Yanchen’s big hands, making him snap his hips harder, making the bed knock against the wall with every thrust, his mind was filled with images of someone else and when he came, tears streaming down his cheeks, it was Zhengting’s name he screamed.

In the morning, he woke up alone in his bed, but his sheets were changed and he was clean and dressed in a boxer short. He must have needed the sleep if he had slept through this, even if the king size bed felt really empty when there was nobody to cuddle, but he was used to it.

On the night stand was a note reading “sorry :(“with a sad smiley behind the sorry and when he stood up, just slightly tired anymore and trotted to the door, note in one hand, he spotted Zhengting and Xukun in the kitchen across the hall, Zhengting sitting on the counter and sipping on a O-juice laughing at something in earnest with Xukun standing in front of him. Also laughing, both fully dressed.

When Zhengting looked up from Xukun, eyes still crinkled in half crescents and spotted Yanchen leaning against the door frame with the note in the hand and a sad but knowing smile, he stopped mid track laughing and stared at him, eyes pleading guilty.

Xukun snapped Zhengting out of his trance when he stubbed his fingers into Zhengting’s shoulder, asking him if everything was okay and Zhengting just nodded and continued talking and smiling and Yanchen sighed, before looking down at the note and then at the laughing couple in the kitchen again.

Zhu Zhengting was a privilege, Yanchen realized.

A privilege Yanchen wasn’t supposed to posses.

**Author's Note:**

> I made it so obvious who Yanchen loved, lol this was 3,7K of bullshit :D.


End file.
